Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Final post


As children grow older and become adolescents they begin to become more independent from their parents causing emotional problems for them. Adolescents begin to have different interests and when demanded something of them they expect an explanation why, fairness and mutual respect. Both the parent and adolescent being to have many problems due to the changes of interests in the adolescents, not only do they begin to disagree but they also begin to grow distant from one another. If the problems are handled in a not so great way, it will affect the adolescent emotionally. These problems are handled are by the communication and relationship the parent and child has before adolescence. If the parenting style is permissive then the adolescent will most likely always get it his way, if it is authoritarian then the adolescent will always be afraid of standing up for themselves and will always think he or she is wrong, while the authoritative parenting style allows the adolescent to see why their actions are right or wrong.

As the adolescent grows older, becomes an adult and moves out of the house the parents are effected emotionally as well. They feel a sense of loss and once their home is free of all their children they are left alone. They may become grandparents and begin to relive the years they did when their children came into their lives. Some grandparents don't like to be involved with the care of their grandchildren and others do. Those who do not have too much contact with their grandchildren become emotionally depressed in many cases and those who are involved in their lives are very happy. Those parents who become grandparents treat their grandchildren the way they were treated by their own grandparents, just like how children use the same parenting style they were raised with.

December 9-13


Divorce can happen to anyone, only if a couple has a strong central focus will they be able to pull through. If they both love each other and dedicate their time to trying to better the problems will divorce be a last resort. Both the couple and children are effected by divorce emotionally and financially. Children go through a lot of change because one of their parents wont be present in their lives as much as they used to and if the parent they are staying with decides to move homes they will also have to encounter a new city, friends, home and environment. It isn't recommend for children to experience too many changes in their lives after divorce, it gives them too much stress and even depression. If the child has a change of home, religion and friends they will begin to feel alone, especially if they move far away from their other family members living near by. Divorce is not a healthy way of solving problems within a marriage, it is expensive and it is unhealthy for the couple and children. Couples pay a lot of many to get the papers done for the divorce and since all the money goes to the divorce both the children and parent go through a tight budget and limited resources. The numbers for divorce has increased immensely and can only be expected to grow even more. Its become a trend within Americans. Children of divorced parents are at a risk of having a divorce of their own because they saw it in their own parents and see it as it being a solution to problems. Divorce is an unhealthy way of solving family difficulties.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

December 2-6

Some of the purposes of parenting are:
  • to socialize with your child
  • Learn to sacrifice
  • Develop selflessness
  • Provide discipline teaching
  • Guide your children
  • Confidence boost
  • Spirit of love in the home
  • Prepare our children for eternal life
  • To understand our Heavenly Father
As parents we should always love our children and let them know/feel that they are loved by their family and God. We must teach them to contribute in the home and we must learn to acknowledge their help. We must complement them on how they contribute in the home so that they don't feel unappreciated. As parents we need to teach them to have respect towards themselves and every individual in this world. Everything that is taught to children in their childhood will reflect upon them in their teen and adult years, so we must get enough teaching in their childhood years. If we teach them how to be responsible during childhood then they will make responsible choices in their future. Why? Because we taught them how to make choices. Always make sure to give your children choices, choices that you approve of and let them exercise their choice. They will learn by experiences and later will develop the capability of making good choices.

November 25-29

This week I found that fathers have the important role of being the providers, teachers, and protectors of the home. Many children love to feel their fathers love, since they are always away at work. Feeling their love is very important in the lives of children because that allows them to know that they are accepted, cared for and loved by their parent that isn't always present. A benefit from having the father work is letting the mother stay at home caring for their children. If fathers provide and work for the families it gives mothers the chance to be with the children at home. There are many studies that show how children benefit from having a parent at home than being cared for from other people. Many mothers benefit from staying at home with their children, it allows them to better know her kids, it grows a stronger relationship within the parent and child and it creates a vibe of love within the home. There are many different stay at home moms, some who receive their degree and stay home, there are those who do not have a degree but stay at home with their children and there are also mothers who do not stay at home and work a few hours a day. Mothers are a necessity in the family, if they need to work a few hours then that is fine, but always remember to come straight home to your children after.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

November 18-22

Communication is an essential part to a family, it is needed to have a healthy marriage and if not used well it can lead to misunderstandings. There are many different types of communication, facial expressions, symbols, words or a persons actions. Therefore, communication is used all the time, everyday. Since there are many different types of communication, people need feedback of what the person is trying to tell them because they might not always understand what they are saying. If a person doesn't understand what someone is trying to communicate with them then it can lead to the individual feeling offended or lost. One style of communication that is very unhealthy is using sarcasm. Sarcasm is a very corrupt way of using communication because it exaggerates what your trying to tell someone, which also leads to others feeling offended by it. Sometimes people are sarcastic by accident and end up feeling bad for themselves because their intentions aren't to make others feel offended. Communication needs to be used in a careful and wise way because it is an essential part of what makes up a family.

November 11-15

What is a family crisis? A family crisis is when family members encounter a huge change in their lives.this change can be either good or bad. Some family changes that cause stress and depression in a family is when someone dies, a divorce takes place or when a family member is diagnosed with a disease. Some examples of diseases that can impact a family is cancer, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, or sickle cell anemia, many of these disease are lifelong and require the family members to care for the individual affected. The death of a family member is another major crisis that occurs within a family, leading to depression. Family members need to deal with the absence of individual who passed away making them have to grow accustomed to the new life. If a father is gone then the mother will need to go out into the workforce and provide for the children, causing the children to not see their mother as much as when the father was alive. There are many different family crisis and all of them affect every member in the family, one way or the other.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

November 4-8

     This week in class our teacher made a question, Who enjoys intimacy most? The answer is married couples do. We discussed the challenges and opportunities sexual intercourse can bring upon a married couples, for example some of the challenges are that either spouse comes home too tired, mad or stressed from problems at work. Some of the opportunities it gives to married couples is that it allows them to work together, feel supported, loved and protected. We acknowledged that woman are more emotionally attached to their spouse, while men are more physically attached. Woman like to be told they are loved and shown and men in the other hand like to be more physical. Beside sexual intercourse we also talked about the difference between "High Fidelity" and "Infidelity". Someone who is at a "High fidelity" level are true, loyal, pure, and give warmth to their spouse. When someone is at a "Infidelity" level they are vulnerable, sexting others, comforted by others, dishonest and most likely watch pornography. In order to keep satisfied within a married couple, you must be "one flesh, one heart." Be loyal to your spouse and make sure their needs are being met.   

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

October 28 - November 1

     This week in class we discussed about the difficulties and changes a child can bring to a married couple. We discussed about different possible ways and agreed that a child can bring stress, a change in focus for both parents and bring financial difficulties unto the spouse. A child brings stress because parents begin to worry about how they will manage things in their house, they don't get enough sleep and worry about the necessities of the baby. Married couples begin to have different focuses in life, for example the mother might focus her daily life on her child while her husband might still focus on her. In many cases the husband might feel left out or unloved or it can be vice versa. Children causes a huge impact on married couples, its time consuming and the needs of each spouse are no longer met. Tension and loneliness can be felt when the needs of a spouse are not met. Married couples definitely need to work hard to stay together because statistics have shown that divorce occurs usually within the first 5 years of a child's birth or when all the children are almost all grown up. Statistics have also shown that the needs of a couple are met more after their children have moved out of their home. Couples really need to hold on tight and not let their problems take a toll on them, children can be stressing but they are definitely an amazing blessing. Patience is the key.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

October 21 - October 25

          This week in class we discussed about dating and the different types of love a person has for another individual. Dating gives you the chance to get to know someone's interests, personality and future goals etc. Dating opens the doors to many possibilities, dating exclusively and marriage. Don't ever feel committed to a person just because you go on a date with him/her. Dating is simply spending time with someone and getting to know the person better. When you go out on dates make sure its always with different types of people and in different circumstances. This will allow you to taste a little bit of everything and it'll help you know what type of person you like most. After going out on dates with him/her and have figured out if you want to take it to the next level then that is when you determine the relationship with him/her. If all goes well and you two begin dating exclusively then you must know you are taking away many possibilities of meeting other people. Dating exclusively is being loyal to your significant other and basically preparing for marriage and the wedding. As you prepare for marriage make sure the wedding planning is being done by you and your fiancĂ© and not just the bride and her parents. Decision making for the wedding is a chance to put to test the way you and your fiancĂ© can compromise with one another. Work hard to agree and all will turn out great. After marriage, you will experience many different types of loves. The different types of love are storge, philia, eros, and agape. Storge is the love a parent has for his/her children, philia is the type of love there is between your friends and yourself, eros is the love between a man and woman, and agape is the independent love you hold for someone else. I believe that if you exercise these types of love, it will help keep your marriage in balance.

Monday, October 21, 2013

October 14-18

     This week I learned about the different qualities each gender has. Females are more emotional, nurturing, multi-taskers, relation oriented and are more communicative. While males are the protectors, strong, aggressive, and are oriented around one thing at a time. The differences a male and female have can help the couple work together, it might be hard to compromise but the outcome of working things out is much more rewarding than arguing. I also learned that females and males have about the same amount of emotions but females send them/express them more than males do. Males sometimes don't know how to express them or find it unnecessary to do so, while females find it a lot more necessary. We also talked about how one of the factors for divorce is because sometimes couples do not express themselves. Sometimes an individual assumes the partner already knows something and they are actually wrong. Communication is a key point in a marriage and couples must learn to work together through each others flaws, sometimes the flaws can unite them and make them even stronger than before.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

October 7 - October 10



         This week I learned that many new parents tend to put into practice their own culture and copy the way their own parents were as they were growing up. Sometimes new parents are unaware of the same habits and rules they copied from there parents and in the end they sometimes can not believe how much alike they are or sometimes they don't acknowledge the similarities. Family cultures also get passed down, sometimes it becomes modified but the main idea stays the same. In my parents culture it was expected for the family to make tamales for Christmas, every year of their lives they made tamales on Christmas. When my parents married, they carried out that same culture onto their children and now we are expected to help make these tamales every Christmas. I once asked my mom why we made tamales every year? Why was it necessary if it's exhausting to make them? She answered and said "Daisy, its in our culture and I will honor it. I've made them every year of my life since I was a child and I will continue to make them. I love them." When she said this I knew that she was definitely carrying out her culture into her children's lives. I also learned that we shouldn't be afraid to change our culture. Changing our cultures can sometimes be difficult, depending on the situation. I know my father changed a culture that was carried out in his family since before his grandma was born. Most Hispanic families believe in the Catholic church and attend mass on Sunday's. My dad grew up within the Catholic church up until the age of 12 years old. He met the missionaries and was converted into the gospel, he says "My mom and family were so mad at me, many didn't talk to me for months because I made a change within the family." As time went by, he began influencing his siblings into the church and they as well were baptized and so was his parents. Now, all his children, nieces, nephews, cousins, uncles and aunts are Mormon. He made a change in our culture.

September 30 - October 4




     This week I learned about many different theories, but the one I was most interested in and felt like it applied to my own family is the "Exchange Theory". This theory is about how individuals within a family expect things in return when they give something out. For example, if a mother cooks for the entire family, she might expect one of the oldest child to wash the dishes, or if siblings borrow each others stuff they expect to hear a "thank you" for letting them borrow it. Exchange theory can be implied in many ways, not just like in my examples. A way that this theory applies into my own family is my dad always expecting his children to complete our chores in order for him to give us something we wanted, sometimes we wanted a toy or a chance to go out with friends etc. Many families practice this theory unconsciously but it does not describe how a family works entirely, this theory is just a small fraction of how a family works.

Friday, September 27, 2013

 This week I learned that humans are living longer and are causing the population of many countries to skyrocket. This is happening because parents are now deciding to have more children than they used to and this adds up to the people who were already alive. I also learned that families have problems within their homes for many reasons and one that caught my attention was that families are living within other family homes. These other families are immigrant families or individuals who have barely come into the country and living with families who already lived here. In the census I realized that many of the families that are living within another family home are most found in the places where immigrants migrate to.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Family Relations Class

 
 
 
 

     Hi, my name is Daisy Cruz! I'm 18 years old and I barely started college at BYU-Idaho a few days ago. My major is Marriage and Family Studies with a Clinical Emphasis and a minor in Psychology. I'm hoping to be either a Therapist or Psychologist for families and adolescents. So because of this I am now taking a Family Relations class in school and I will be posting up what I've learned in class and my thoughts about it. If any of you have any questions regarding any of my posts, please feel free to leave me a comment and I will reply as soon as possible!